All dressed up with nowhere to go

Do I come off as really desperate? I feel like I do a lot of the time and I don't mean to. I just hate playing games and being vague, I like honesty. I'd like to apologize to my captivated audience, I know I haven't updated in a while...oh wait not a single person reads this so it doesn't really matter. So I hung out with Sam last week. It went really well I think. We just sat at Starbucks and talked for a couple of hours. It's weird because it's almost like no time had passed at all since I'd last seen him. There were no awkward pauses. I forgot how much I just genuinely enjoy his company. I'm trying to hangout again but I feel like I'm sending the wrong message. Half the time I feel like I'm just bothering him but I know he had a good time too, I could feel it. The whole time we sat across from each other I could feel an electrical current. I actually had take a breath before I could drive off. Might see him tonight. Might not. Within the past week Evan and I have been up and down and up and down again and again. I'm just tired of it. I think right now that we're in a good, stable place and I hope it stays that way. I wish I could just read minds, I wouldn't talk so fucking much. I'd say for ever text I get from Sam I send him like 5 back. I know I sound like a crazy person half the time but I don't mean too. I'm probably just going to be by myself tonight as per usual. It's actually not that bad but I was hoping that I'd get to see him this weekend and chill some more. Am I expecting too much of this frail, fragile, fledgling, friendship (alliteration much?)? Probably but I don't know how else to be. I'm really just being myself. I think he's expecting me to drop the ball at some point but it's not going to happen obvi. Just keep moving forward like a motherfucking great white shark.