Life is a Double Edged Dildo

One of the few things that I like about my job is that I happen to work with some cool people. I’m using the term “cool” to actually encompass several different things but on the whole they are all interesting enough to capture my attention. There’s this one girl that works in Pet Care, let’s call her “Betty”. Well Betty is a good old country girl from Hereford. She also works on a farm and wore a camouflage dress to her prom. Well Betty has a boyfriend let’s call him “Bobby”. Anyways, Betty and Bobby are just too cute. For real they’re like some country-western version of Britney and Justin circa 2001. Betty and Bobby love to drive their trucks and go hunting and any other kind of stereotypical activities that you could think of. They are completely and utterly predictable in every way except for one. Betty always likes to talk to me about her sex life. For some reason she thinks that since I’m gay I know everything there is to know about fucking. We’ve had several conversations about it and it’s always hilarious because she and Bobby are into some seriously kinky shit. Apparently Bobby really likes to be fucked in the ass. Seriously, Betty has shown me text messages and I quote “Hey baby, how are the new tires working out for you? BTW are you excited to fuck me in the ass tonight?”…take a breath dear reader. So A couple weeks ago I’m talking to Betty at work and she tells me that later that night she and Bobby will be using her brand new just purchased doubled sided dildo. One end in him and the other in her. Now if that isn’t intimacy than I don’t know what is. Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging. As someone who is very familiar with butt fuckery I’m totes mcscrotes excited when straights decided to shove things up their asses. However, this kinky conversation got me thinking about the new year. I really want to broaden my horizons and try new things. I really think that 2012 is going to be my year. The moral of this story is that you should be open to new experiences, you never know what you might end up liking.